Tonsil Hockey
by NoFangYou
Summary: Okay, so this is a story of how leon and Kairi are together. I know as well as the next guy that Sora and Kairi are meant to be together, but let me have my fun! All of the FF characters in the game are the same age, except Yuffie, who's younger.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters thus far.**

**Okay, I know as well as everybody that Sora and Kairi were meant to be together, but I thought it might be cute if Kairi and Leon were together. Before you EWWWWWWWWWW!, let me explain that Leon is about the same age as Sora and Kairi in this, and was the same age as them in the Kingdom Hearts video game. Cloud and Aerith are the same age as them too. Leon and Aerith are twins. Yuffie is a little younger, but not much. I don't know if I want to make this a one-shot. Maybe. Maybe not. Enjoy!**

Another boring day at school. Perfect. At least I would see Kairi again later. Since she started that private school I don't see her much anymore. I wonder what mom made for dinner tonight.

Okay, I know its scattered. But you can't really blame me! I mean, I just got back from high school on the last day of midterms, my brain is fried, and I am hungry. My girlfriend is going to private school and I haven't seen her in like a month. Under normal circumstances, that calls for meltdown of my anti-randomness controls.

I heard a knock on the door, and I went to go answer it in my after school clothes. Namely, my boxers. Standing there, three hours early, was Kairi. I stood behind the door, then ran upstairs when I realized the visitors identity. Damn it! Why is she always so early?

I changed into the pair of jeans and t-shirt I had on for school and walked downstairs. Kairi was standing in the entrance hall, looking like she was about to laugh her head off. "Sorry I'm so early, Leon, but I've always wanted to see the 'After school outfit' Yuffie keeps telling me about."

I mentally cursed Yuffie. Fucking sisters. Always have to tell their friends the most embarrassing stuff about their brothers.

"Yeah, well, that's the last time you're going to see my darling sister and my after school outfit. They're both going out with the garbage tomorrow."

"Leon, stop joking like that. I know you love Yuffie."

"Yeah, about as much as I can throw her."

"I thought that was an expression about trust."

"It is. But it fits here too."

"That it does. Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Sure I am. Why?"

"You haven't come within ten steps of me the whole time I was here."

"Oh, right." I walked over to her and wrapped her in my arms, wondering once again how she managed to smell like sherbert and gingerbread at the same time. She looked up at me with those violet eyes, and simply said, "hi."

"Hi." I kissed her lightly, savoring the taste of the sea salt ice cream still resting on her lips.

"Geez, Kairi. You taste so good." She nuzzled her forehead into my chest.

"Thanks."

"You're quite welcome." I released her to go into the living room.

I sat down on my favorite lazyboy chair, conveniently located so one couldn't see us from any other room in the house. She plopped down on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Geez, Leon. You look so good."

"Thank you. I try."

She slapped my arm playfully. "You ham."

"Canadian or American?"

She laughed and draped herself over me in that way that only girls can, that way that makes it so that they're looking at you, and at the television at the same time. Yuffie does it all the time. It bothers me when she does it. However...

"So how are you liking your new school?" I was trying to pull the conversation out of the whole ham theme.

"It's no Radiant High."

"Of course not! There's no graffiti, no food stuck to the ceiling."

"No you."

"That's a given."

"Oh god, Leon. The girls there don't think that you exist."

"Really? Why?"

"Because they think you're too gorgeous to go out with me." She looked ready to cry.

"Really? All the guys think that you're too gorgeous to go out with me." I wrapped my arms around her hips, and pulled her close. She giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I showed them the picture we took with the emo pants."

"Ohhh, Kairi! Did you have to?"

"Of course! The other ones are of you and me goofing off, or of me in my swim suit."

"Why didn't you show them that one? That demonstrates both our gorgeousness at the same time. I, of course, look worse in comparison to a natural beauty such as yourself." I tickled her sides, and then frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't remember where I left my emo pants." She sighed.

"Gosh, Leon. You would forget your head if it wasn't attached. You left them at Sora's. He called and complained to me because his mom chewed him out for them."

I winced. Sora's mom is brutal when it comes to reaming you a new one. "Note to self, apologize to Sora."

"Well, now that the pleasantries are exchanged, how about we aren't so pleasant?" Her eyes twinkled mischievously. (A/N God people! Not like that! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

"Gladly." I pulled her head down for my lips to meet hers. Damn the taste of sea salt ice cream. Addictive, that is.

I don't know exactly how long we were like that, but it must have been a while. It was dark when Sora burst through my door and into my living room, turning to face me, or rather us.. "Damn guys! Can't you do that somewhere more private?"

Kairi giggled and I rolled my eyes. "Last time I checked, we were in my house, in the most private area."

"Yeah, well..." For once, Sora was speechless. He threw the previously mentioned pants into Kairi and my laps. "I swear Leon, you would forget your head if it wasn't so far up your ass."

"Funny, that's exactly what Kai said. Without the cursing and nastiness, that is."

"Of course. Welcome back, Kai." Kairi stood up to hug her best friend, and I was a little envious for a moment. Ever since the time that Sora and Kairi had moved to Radiant Garden after the Keyblade Wars, I had been really jealous of the connection they had. Not a romantic connection, since Sora was involved with Yuffie, ew, but the friendship connection. I had only known Kairi for a year. Sora had known her since they were kids.

"Where's Yuffie this fine evening?

"Somewhere off with Selphie. I think she's trying to get away from you, man."

"She'd better get home soon. We have a date in thirty."

"So why are you here so early?"

"Kairi, duh. When she didn't show up at my house, I figured she'd be here, sucking face with you."

"Well, you figured right."

"Considering I walked in in the middle of it, I kind of came to that conclusion."

"Look, hun, Sora actually thought!" I poked her in the side and she giggled again.

"Stop it, Leon! You know that tickles!" Her nose scrunched up in the cute way that made me fall in love with her in the first place. Too bad I hadn't told her yet.

"That's why I do it."

"Okay, cuteness factor is off the meter right now. I'll be back in a few. Tell Yuf that I was here."

"Why don't you call her?"

"Cell's off."

"Definitely avoiding you, Sora."

"Shut up Leon."

Cloud walked into my house five minutes later, and was treated to the same view as Sora originally had been. He was more nonchalant about it though, and waited until we were done. "Welcome back, Kairi. I see you're enjoying the reunion."

"Very much." She nodded her head cutely.

"What is it with people just walking into my house today?"

"If you wouldn't leave the door unlocked..."

"Much as I like you, Cloud, you need to get your ass out of my house."

"Much as I'd like to, Leon, I'm waiting for Aerith to come down."

"Just barge in. She's been changed and ready for hours. She practically ran out of school."

"Shut up, Leon." Aerith's usually calm and sweet voice was annoyingly sugary today, and it almost made me want to strangle my twin.

"Damn. You definitely got all the looks in the family, Aerith. Now why didn't Leon get any?" Cloud wolf-whistled and I wanted to strangle him too.

Just to be a smart ass, I "That's not what everyone else says. Now you two crazy kids have fun on your night out. Remember the condoms, Aerith."

"Shut up, Leon."

"Oh, that's cute. They even read each others mind like an old married couple."

"Shut up, Kairi."

"You know what, hun, you're absolutely right. That's a little creepy."

The two lovebirds were speechless, individually or in unison. They walked out the door in silence, but I got a text message ten minutes later from Cloud reading UR AN ASS.

I sent one back. A SEXY ASS.

I never got a reply.

Yuffie ran through door panting. "Sora been here yet?"

"Like twenty minutes ago. Said he'd be here in ten."

"Shit."

"Yuffie, what did I tell you about swearing."

"Shut up, Leon."

"Geez, if the people in this family had their way, my tongue would be permanently attached to the roof of my mouth."

"Well then you can just use Kairi's. You guys have been playing non-stop tonsil hockey since you started going out."

She ran up the stairs to her room before I could get a word in edgewise, leaving a very giggly Kairi and myself alone. "Hello, gorgeous. See anymore interruptions in our future?"

"Sora. In about eight minutes."

"Want to make those eight minutes as fun as possible."

"Do lets."

And we were at it again. "Tonsil Hockey". For once, Yuffie said something intelligent.

**Thank you for reading! I had a lot of fun writing this. Just like I always do, of course.**

**Love you all,**

**Sora's Kairi**


	2. Chapter 2

**It was pointed out to me that this seemed to sexual for Kingdom Hearts. I agree, but I think that it's a lot more PG13 than most fanfictions. If that is why nobody's reading this, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it so that ppl thought it was gross. Just to let everyone know, I am a girl, I just like trying to figure out what it would be like to think like a guy. So far, it's pretty scary.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or any of the characters in this story besides Herrara.**

I placed my hand on the pink back of Kairi's dress, rubbing my thumb over a zipper. The cool metal bit into my skin, but I didn't withdraw my hand. She was scared, I could tell. Her skin was cold, and her face was white. Sora looked at his best friend in alarm, and I realized that she was more scared than even I realized.

No, we aren't fighting heartless. I wish we were, it might be a little less painful. No, we had just listened to Cloud propose to Aerith. (**A/N The characters are about eighteen in this. Except Yuffie, of course, who is seventeen.)**

Usually, I would gag, but I could tell that Aerith was really in love with this guy (and I could not for the life of me figure out why) but there was something about this that frightened Kai. I pulled the girl into the living room, away from the lovesick couple, and pulled her down beside me on the couch.

"Kairi, what's wrong?"

She attempted to smile at me, but it came out to more of a grimace. "It's nothing Leon. Don't worry about me."

"I know you better than that, and you know me better than that too. Now, what's wrong?"

She buried her face in my chest, and I resumed rubbing her back. I waited for the racking sobs to stop, then I pulled her chin up to face me. "I hate seeing you like this."

"I know."

"No, you don't. I love you Kai." Oh my god. I didn't just say that. That didn't come out of my mouth. Any minute now my alarm clock would ring, letting me know that I had overslept once again...(**A/N In all my studies, I could never find out why guys are so afraid of those three little tiny words. Not even ten letters. Eight. It took my exboyfriend eight months to say that. And no, I didn't break up with him because he said it.)**

Kairi froze up, her eyes going wide. Then she smiled, and I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "I love you too, Leon."

I felt my heart leap, and before she could say anything, I captured her mouth with my own, swallowing any response she may have had.

Unfortunately, with all of the emotions flying, we didn't notice Sora come into the room. "It's about fucking time." God, who knew Sora had such a potty mouth?

"Oh, shut up. Yuffie's upstairs. Go bother her."

"Cloud and Aerith are making out on the stairs, and I don't exactly want to step over that."

"I don't blame you at all. What time are we leaving tomorrow?"

I felt Kairi stiffen up beside me, and I felt like the biggest ass in the world. I can't believe I forgot that Riku was her best friend too.

"Eight. Be up. I'm not dragging your lazy ass out of bed."

I moaned. "Eight? In the morning?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "That's when the cemetery opens, and I want to get there before the traffic."

"Fine. I'll be up."

"You don't have to."

"Sora, yes I do. Riku was my friend too, you know. We might not have been close, but I liked the guy okay. After all, if he was friends with this sexy beast," I pointed at Kairi, who looked ready to giggle and cry at the same time, "then he couldn't be all bad. Now, no offense, but get the hell out of here."

"Fine. Go back to making out." He walked out before I could reply.

I pulled Kairi's chin up again, and wiped the tear out of the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring Riku up like that."

"It's not your fault. I wasn't going to wake you up either." She smiled and I delighted in her familiar eye twinkle.

"Oh, you know you'd want to." I smiled back, and leaned my forehead against hers.

"Not with that morning breath." I laughed and tickled her sides until tears of laughter ran down her face, then pulled her close.

"Kai, I'm so sorry about Riku."

"It's not your fault. You didn't stab him."

"No, but I should have been there."

"Leon, you were with me, protecting me. If anything, it's my fault." A shadow crossed over her face, and

"Never."

"Besides, it's been two years. There is no reason to still be sad."

"Of course there is. How long was he your best friend? Ten years?"

"Eleven." She looked ready to cry again.

"See? If Yuf, Aerith, or even Cid were to die on me, I would be sad for a lot longer than two years. Don't suppress your emotions. Especially the one that makes this so fun." I kissed her again, and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I could feel the tears roll down her cheek, then down my neck. I let her rest her forehead on my shoulder, and placed my chin in her crimson hair.

"Kai, don't cry. Please don't cry. You'll get me started."

She buried her face further into my chest, creating the need for me to rearrange my chin to brush against her ear. I listened to her breath, and let out of a breath of my own onto her ear. She shivered and I pulled her close again. "Please tell me what was wrong before. I need to know. I want to help."

"I know. Leon, it was so horrible."

"What? Did someone hurt you?" I felt my anger rise, and my fists ball up beside my hips.

"No, not like you're thinking anyway. Calm down." She stroked my arm, and I relaxed my fist.

"I'm supposed to be the one comforting you, not the other way around."

She giggled. "Yeah, well, I'm better at it. Nurturing instincts, you know?"

"Mothering instincts my foot." I sealed my mouth over hers again.

"Stop. Stop. This is serious." She laughed and placed her hands on my chest, pressing all of her weight into my chest, pushing me back.

"That's so obvious." I rolled my eyes, sarcasm obvious.

"You want me to tell you what's wrong, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"Then shut up, and stop kissing me! Wait another ten minutes."

I looked at the stupid clock my mom had kept in the kitchen before she died. How I hated that clock with love. (**A/N if you understood that statement, there is a psychiatrist ready on call.) **"You officially have ten minutes. Use them wisely." I leaned back onto the couch and closed my eyes.

She moved beside me, shifting her body so that the soles of her shoes were pressing together and her hands were on her feet. "Well, you know that I transferred schools against my wishes. That was six months ago. My mom and I settled into our normal lives again, and I attended the Radiant Garden Academy For Girls." (How I loved the prudes at that school) "Meaning, of course, that all the girls talked about was guys. Well, I met a girl there, Herrara. Her boyfriend was living in a flat about five minutes from school. I met him about four weeks ago. Well, since I had met Vaan, (I do not own FF) she wanted to know more about you. I skipped school that day to meet up with her, when my mom was supposed to be at work, to show her pictures of you. You see, she didn't want to see any of my friends after she got home from work. So, we snuck back to the house to find Vaan and mom making out on the sofa, half-naked."

"Only half?"

"I thought you were going to be quiet for ten minutes."

"My bad." I made the zipping motion over my mouth.

"Yes, only half. Herrara ran out of the house crying. I chased after her. I haven't seen my mom since."

"But...you were still there when I called you."

"I alternated coming home when she was still at work. She didn't even apologize to Herrara, or me for lying to me for that matter. She wasn't sorry, Leon. Not at all. My aunt called my cell phone last week to tell me that they were getting married."

I sealed my mouth over hers again. She looked startled for a second. I pointed to the clock, which was exactly ten minutes past the time she had told me to shut up. She laughed into my mouth.

"You know that is very distracting."

"I know."

"It's also horrible about your friend and your mom. Must be horrible for you too. You know that you could have come here. Aerith and Yuffie would delight in another way to torture me." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her onto my lap. She squealed a bit, and then relaxed a bit. "Want to go upstairs where the girls won't disturb us?"

"Sora's been the only one to come in."

"I was talking about Sora."

"Well, fine. But we'll have to step over the newly engaged."

"Let me get the hose. They won't be a problem for very long."

"Oh, you wouldn't."

"How very well do you know me, gorgeous?"

"Pretty good I think." She leered at me.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, bet you weren't expecting this." I stood up, and carried her upstairs bridal style.

"LEON!!!" She screamed when I plopped her down onto my bed. I turned on my stereo so that we wouldn't hear Cloud and Aerith in the bedroom next door, then flopped down on the bed, leaning on the headboard.

"What?"

"I'm going to get you for that."

"Really? What are you going to do, little mouse?"

"You know I hate that."

"That's why I did it."

"Ohhh...Come your birthday, see what you get."

"Damn. So I guess I'm not getting that little scrap of fabric we saw in the window of Minnie's Secret then, huh?"

"You weren't getting it anyway."

"You hurt me, gorgeous. You really do."

"Awww...let me kiss it and make it better." She leaned into me, and did just that, problems temporarily forgotten.

**Okay, so this is my first anti-innocent story, and I want to know what you think about it so far! Let me know, okay? I know Cloud and Aerith are a little young to be getting married, but I thought that it would be a good thing to get Kairi scared. Yes, I killed off Riku, but I couldn't think of a good match for him. Sora and Yuffieextreme hyperness...Cloud and Aerithextreme quietness...Tifaalone!!!LOL!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys!! Sorry I haven't updated in a while!!! If you wanna read some of the new stuff I've been working on, you can just go to soraskairi. this is the site where I've been posting all my OF!!!

Thanks guys!!!

Sora's Kairi


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